cremation

boxed in my room,
feeling my way out of the gloom
i stumble to the door, i push and
fall onto a floor
of stars
like a galaxy of broken glass.

red and gold,
my blood and galactic debris
mix under my sole.

i feel no pain as
my skin like night rain,
fine rain, almost dust,
falls down around
you sobbing
into your mother’s bust.

i lurch to my knees
near bone-dry, dragging
myself across the sky, over
a million splinters till i smoulder,
ignite,
and feel this swelling
unbearable heat
inside.

my eyes, like windows shattering,
first come alight
then blow out; crackling, caving
into a burning ball of light.
i’m still here, only
i belong to the night.

a casket’s just a carriage,
a sort of space freightage
pushing off for the constellations
with a blast, where
the load would combust
amid cosmic matter
both grit and sandpaper
to scour, abrade
my body in the celestial mill till
I scintillate.

——–

In the interstellar vastness
I’ll always exist.
I am above you, girl,
I never ceased.